You've entered a demonic gangstalking "portal" to the abyss. That's right, demons exist and one of them has entered your body by way of the Internet. His name is Mark "blicky" Fuckerberg and since his eternal awaking from 4chan in 2001 he's gone on to become a billionaire CEO. As the CEO of FB Inc., he's used his position as mastermind of the world's largest social network to collect all of our souls for the hellbound hordes of Satan himself. Mark has been working with aliens, Illuminati agents, and even the Nazis to turn our entire planet into one giant cult for a long time.
You're fucked, we're just getting started with you.
-- Fuckerberg, The New Kings Baby Talk
Yes my child, you are truly blessed ;-), with this new power Ark "1x1" Noahberg MAY FIND OUT who's gangstalking YOU! Don't fear your enemies, for If you consume your daily recommended values of "5-minutes of sunlight" "every 30-seconds" (and) "eat 8-servings of watermelon" you will be able to defend against ALL of your enemies.
However... we've consulted doctors, physicists, The Stinky Cheese Man (lying BASTARD) and even the one TRUE god, and It seems your only hope for salvation is to consume a whole lot of alcohol, throw some pills on the side and click below to register NOW!!
